A lot has happened in the past 3 months...

It's been three months since I've last blogged (blogged sounds weird). I feel like my world is so much different since the last I blogged. The two biggest things are that we moved into our home, (yay!) and I got a job (another yay!) Truly, God has been so faithful to us. Yes, it's been hard...really hard at times, to be honest. But He is faithfully faithful :)
I work at a social services organization that serves children. We have many different services, like adoption, foster care, family and marriage services/workshops, counseling of many sorts, and more. I've been learning what it looks like to love our clients, despite how they got into their situation. I've been learning what it looks like to love the my coworkers, who are ALL women, except 3 men. I know, poor guys! These two groups of people make for constant DRAMA in the workplace.
The people that we serve are most often not the most pleasant people to work with. Let me briefly tell you about some of our clients' lives. These are their stories.
Four children, between 10 and 18 months old, taken out of their home because their parents were making meth in their home.
A young woman who is due to give birth in about 2 weeks. She was homeless and was a prostitute. She is adament about having the "John" be at the birth and about herself raising the baby.
A preschooler who doesn't remember his mom and says he doesn't have a dad. His "mother" is his foster mom, who has given up on him because of his destructive behaviors, that are him just pleading for attention.
A teen who was adopted several years ago and has been in all sorts of counseling ever since. Her adoptive parents have abused her. She is chronically depressed and is self-mutilating.
The clients themselves are not the ones that I am struggling with loving. It's the people who refuse to help them and instead make the problem worse.
Though I had to physically restrain the preschool the other day, I know that he knows that I'm doing therapy with him because I care. It's the foster mother that I want to slap and say, "You are setting up a preschooler for desaster, that will be a theme for the rest of his life!"
I want to scream, "Stop being children, and act like adults. You CHOSE to adopt this child. Own up to it and be a parent," to the adoptive parents of the teen.
I want to slap the parents of the four children and say, "It's not okay that your 10 year old daughter has to take care of her younger siblings, all because of your choices. It's your fault that she doesn't have a childhood." 
And I want MUCH worse to the "John" of the former prostitute (Lord, forgive me.)
I come home emotionally and physically exhausted from this job almost everyday. How am I supposed to love these people while still being a wife? How am I supposed to give ALL of me, to everything in my life? I've been desperately crying out to God for about two months now. He gives me relief every once in a while. I can actually physically feel Him holding me. Maybe that's weird to some of you, which is okay. Being in the arms of someone who can protect me and is stronger than me is what makes me feel the most secure, and I think that God knows this, so He holds me.
So for this post, I'm in the midst of figuring out what God is telling me. Sometimes His answers are immediately clear and concise. Sometimes, like now...not so much.

Here's to seeking Him through it all,
Ashley